


bruises and scars

by loveis4hwalls



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Minor Angst, kiho monthly, kihyun is a grumpy baby, major fluff, side hyunghyuk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 18:30:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14721348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveis4hwalls/pseuds/loveis4hwalls
Summary: It's not fair, Hoseok thinks. Why does everyone have the opportunity to live with the love of their life, but not him?In which Hoseok has a broken timer, and Kihyun does too.





	bruises and scars

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! this is my first kiho fic and also my first time participating to kiho monthly, so i hope you guys will like it! it's only been edited a bit, so there might be some mistakes. have a good read and as always, love kiho with all of your heart!

Drops of water sliding down his face, Hoseok let out a sigh as he closed his eyes. He had showered for a good twenty minutes now, he was running late for his dinner with Minhyuk. Some sort of pay back for all the times his best friend ditched him for his comfortable bed. When the water started turning cold, he turned the faucet off and stepped out of the cabin, wrapping a towel around his hips. A glance of himself in the mirror, and a smile blossomed on his lips. After drying his body, he dressed at his own pace, carefully picking his clothes to make a good impression. Not on Minhyuk, but on everyone who would be in that restaurant.

 

Fastening the buttons of his tight white shirt, he hummed to a song he heard on the radio earlier, his feet shuffling in rhythm. After warming up a knob of hair wax in his hands, he ran his fingers through his black locks, slicking it all back. Only a loose strand found its way to his forehead, giving him a look à la Superman — wearing a much less ridiculous outfit, of course. Perfume, dangle earrings and gold rings, Hoseok had dressed to impress. It's only when he attempted to wrap his watch around his wrist that he stopped singing.

 

Everytime his eyes met the bruises on his pale skin, he couldn't take them off of it. It was a curse, a mark that would always remind him he was not like the others, that he was alone. Everyone else in the world had a timer there, with different times. When you met your soulmate, it would reach zero, and you would live a fulfilling life with a person tailored to your needs. Unfortunately, Hoseok didn't have the same fate. His parents had told him his timer was broken ever since he was born, condemning him to be alone for the rest of his life. He didn't make a big deal out of it growing up, but when teenagehood hit, a million doubts and worries followed. It was the age of love, his friends found their soulmates and lived ideal relationships right in front of him.

 

His mother's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he finally slipped his feet in his shoes and ran down the stairs. She was waiting here for him, his coat in her arms. Looking at her soft expression decorated by wrinkles, Hoseok could only feel guilt. His mother would have loved for him to build a happy family after divorcing from his father. It was impossible. At least there was his younger brother, engaged and determined to have children. 

 

"Are you dining with Minhyuk tonight?" she asked in a gentle voice, handing him his coat.

 

Hoseok nodded as he put it on. "Yes, he made a reservation at some fancy restaurant in Gangnam. Sorry for not spending the evening with you."

 

"Don't worry, it's fine. You are a grown man, you can't take care of your old mother for all your life, can you?"

 

He wanted to reply that it was the only thing he would do in his life anyway, but decided against it, knowing this topic would upset his mother. Whenever he would talk to her about his lack of soulmate, she would blame herself, and he didn't want that. She was the light of his life, the only one he trusted with all he had. Back then, she was protecting him from his father, it was his turn to protect her. He left a peck on her cheek, before walking through the door. The tip of his nose stung as a cool breeze hit his face, indicating winter hadn't quite left its throne to spring yet.

 

After trying to call a taxi for a few minutes (none of them would stop, as if it was a punishment for taking all his time), a black car finally pulled up. He sat and gave the address to the driver. His forehead pressed on the window, his eyes skimmed over the busy streets, roaming with laughs and conversations. A family grabbed his attention, they were waiting in front of a food truck and chatting happily, an aura of love surrounding them like in a movie. When the father pointed to a higher building to show to his son, Hoseok followed his finger too. He could barely see the sky, the white and cloudy sky, as if the buildings engulfed the city like a dome. Like a prison, of gold and wealth. Nonetheless, he felt trapped here. He wanted to run away. They weren't like him. No one was like him.

 

The car marked an abrupt stop right in front of the restaurant. Hoseok paid the driver and left, his eyes immediately drawn to the top of the building. Through the windows, he could see couples dining, exchanging kisses and charming words, while he could only be there. Precisely, that friend was waiting for him in front of the doors, a grin on his face. Minhyuk always had that expression, as if the unfairness of life had no impact on him.

 

"Hoseok, you're late," was the first thing he said. "You better have a good excuse!"

 

Without wasting a second, Hoseok pushed the doors open and gestured for Minhyuk to follow him. "I have no excuse, sorry. Take it as a little revenge."

 

"Is that how you treat your friend who invites you to an expensive restaurant?"

 

Hoseok judged he didn't have to reply, and dragged the blond male to a waitress, who was occupied with other clients. Minhyuk then gave his name, and they walked together to a table right in front of a platform with a fancy piano on it. Pitch black and shiny, it stole all the spotlight from the extravagant customers. They sat and ordered in a nick of time, surprised by the speed of the service. The food was on their plates less than half an hour later. Once again, the countless couples around their table could only make Hoseok feel suffocated. He wanted to be like them. At least Minhyuk hadn't found his soulmate yet, and he didn't have to thirdwheel.

 

"Have you seen how ridiculously small the time on my clock is?" Minhyuk pushed his sleeve up and shoved his wrist in Hoseok's face.

 

Here, the not-so-pleasant topic.

 

"I'm going to meet him soon, can you believe that?"

 

"Of course. That's your destiny, right?" He forced a chuckle, then adverted his eyes to the platform when he heard loud clapping.

 

Blinding lights directed on a petite silhouette caught his eye. Dressed in a tuxedo and wearing classic white gloves, he had pastel pink hair, which contrasted drastically with his neat appearance. It was like a sort of rebellion, an adaptation to the society standards with a pinch of his own personality. A smile lingered on his face, lips sealed and cheeks tense, with his eyes open as if it wasn't genuine. No, it definitely wasn't genuine. Business smile. He sat on the stool, stretching his wrists and fingers. Hoseok kept his eyes on him, while Minhyuk couldn't be any less interested. For a second, the older one thought the soulmate of this pianist was lucky. 

 

His fingers tickled the black and white keys, at first slowly, but later in a fast-paced tempo, that forced the spectators to hold their breath in awe. They all seemed to be waiting for the time he would mess up one note, whereas Hoseok could only enjoy, knowing next to nothing about this instrument. Everything was perfect, from an amateur's point of view. If he had been anything more than a rising athlete, he would have handed him an award, right there, right then. The performance came to an end with a majestic finale, as his hands left the piano abruptly, standing in front of the crowd.

 

Everyone clapped again, Hoseok included. This had to be the most breathtaking performance he had ever witnessed. Every note, every expression on his face, all of it was flawless. Minhyuk was still eating his filet mignon without caring about his surroundings. Definitely not sensitive enough to the charm of music. 

 

"It was beautiful," he muttered.

 

Minhyuk finally lifted his nose from his plate. "What was?"

 

"The piano, how could you not hear it? Look at how..."

 

Hoseok couldn't find the strength in him to keep speaking when the man on stage removed his gloves slowly, revealing the same bruises on his right wrist, surrounded by little cuts. No timer, no blue numbers printed across his skin. Just like him.

 

He wasn't alone.

 

"Minhyuk!" Hoseok jolted up, his eyes anchored in the pink haired one's. "He doesn't have any timer. That guy...He has no timer!"

 

His friend imitated him right away, shifting glances around the room. "Which guy? Which one?"

 

"The pianist! What do I do?" In twenty-five years, this was the first time Hoseok met someone in the same situation. Naturally, he had no idea what to do.

 

"Go talk to him, I'll come with you. You can't miss this opportunity."

 

He started walking as his legs trembled under his weight, as he watched the pianist walks towards the bar with small steps. He sat on the highest stool and ordered a drink, Minhyuk and Hoseok joined him silently, clueless about how they would approach him. But the stranger was the one to make the first step, in a rather unexpected way.

 

"What are you looking at?" he barked, before downing a glass of what looked like vodka. Not that Hoseok would know, he had promised to never drink a drop of alcohol. "I don't give autographs, if that's what you wanted to ask."

 

Hoseok felt much less motivated to talk to him, but did he have a choice? It could take years before meeting another person in the same situation. "That's not it. Actually, I think we have the same issue."

 

Seeing the musician's eyebrows furrow so close they could almost knit together, he decided rolling his sleeve up would be much more effective. He was right. His eyes widened immediately, as he tried to take a closer look of the bruises. An expression of shock plastered on his face, he examined the marks carefully, before swallowing a lump in his throat. 

 

"I have that problem too," he spoke up with a shaking voice. "Since birth. How about you?"

 

Hoseok let out a sigh of relief. "Me too. I had never met someone like me before you. Can I have your name?" Asking for his name wasn't important right now, but it felt much more comfortable knowing at least one thing about this man.

 

"Kihyun. Yoo Kihyun."

 

Yoo Kihyun. Hoseok could've sworn he had heard that name somewhere before. After all, he was a good pianist, maybe he was on TV, or in a magazine of some sort. That was probably it.

 

"I'm Shin Hoseok, nice to meet you." He joined his hands together and set them on his lap, turning his feet to Kihyun's direction. "I really need your help. Now that I know I'm not alone, I just can't stay silent. I want to, no, I need to know why we are like this. How come people are born with broken timers? It doesn't make sense."

 

His lips slightly pinched, Kihyun looked like he was thinking, hesitating almost. Before saying anything, he ordered another glass and drank it as fast as the previous one. Hoseok couldn't quite make out what about him felt so strange. His face felt so familiar, the kind of face you see everywhere but never truly notice. It felt like his subconscious mind had finally given its attention to a memory in the corner of his brain.

 

"Maybe it doesn't make sense, but that's how it is. Some people are born with illnesses, we are born without timers. We have to accept it." 

 

His words weren't exactly what Hoseok had hoped for. He thought someone in his situation would feel the same way: wronged, separated from the others and thirsty for truth. No idea if it was Kihyun's stone cold exterior, or his true views on the subject. Hoseok felt hopeless, and with a silent Minhyuk by his side, there was no way it would get better.

 

"We could make some research," Hoseok suggested in a desperate attempt to convince him. "Maybe we would find out why—"

 

"I told you I didn't care." Kihyun slammed his hand down on the bar, not loudly enough to be heard by the others, but powerfully enough to make both Hoseok and Minhyuk jump in their seats. "Whatever the explanation behind it is, we don't have soulmates. I don't want to know why."

 

What a stubborn guy. Far from his classy appearance.

 

"Maybe we could change that, though?" Hoseok's voice went higher as a grimace grew on his face, two seconds away from running out of the restaurant in tears. Or covered in blood, depending on which emotion would take over first. "What if we could fix our timers and find our soulmates?"

 

"Has it ever occurred to you this might not be the life I desire?"

 

Kihyun stood and got ready to leave, not forgetting to take his wallet back. Quick, Hoseok had to make something up to make him stay. There had to be one point that would melt this iceberg in front of him. Maybe the same one that tortured Hoseok everyday.

 

"I want my mother to see me happy with my own family. I want to make her proud," he finally blurted out, standing up as well. It had to work.

 

Hearing his words, Kihyun stopped, biting his lip to prevent himself from talking. He slowly walked back to his stool, a defeated expression on his face. Family seemed to be an important point for him as well, and Hoseok could use it to his advantage. No way he would let him go now. They could be useful to each other.

 

A sigh escaped his pink lips. "Fine, I guess I can help you, Hoseok. I'll help you for a week, but just know I'm busy. So if nothing comes out of it in a week, consider me gone. I have no time to waste."

 

A wave of warmth engulfed Hoseok as a smile uncontrollably crept on his face. If Kihyun wasn't so stoic, he would have hugged him by now. "Thank you so much!" he explained, grabbing his free hand in his. "You don't know how much this means to me."

 

Minhyuk coughed a few times to let them know he was still here.

 

"Oh, and that's my best friend, Minhyuk. He'll be there to help us. Can I get your number, please? So we can schedule an appointment together."

 

The pink haired man nodded, then stretched his hand out to gesture to Hoseok to give him his phone. Of course, he complied, watching him type his number with great anxiety. What if it was a fake one? What if he was agreeing to get rid of him? With Kihyun, nothing seemed impossible.

 

"Here you go," he mumbled as he handed his phone back. "Contact me when you're free, I'll try to clear my schedule. 

 

"Now if you don't mind," Minhyuk started as he placed both of his hands on his friend's shoulders, "we have a dinner to finish. You guys can talk another time. Also, Hoseok thought your performance was great. I, on the other hand, didn't really listen, but I'm guessing my good friend right there is not lying."

 

"Thanks, I guess?"

 

The blonde pushed Hoseok back to their table, not wanting the atmosphere to stay tense any longer. He could see his best friend was nervous — from his shaking hands, to his twitching knee, without forgetting his short breath, it was obvious. 

 

"Relax for the night, Hoseok. Think of this as a good thing."

 

He relieved the tension, eyes shut tightly. "I mean, it's a good thing for sure. But I'm scared of what we'll discover."

 

Hoseok was thinking about something like a secret government operation, or a sketchy experiment. It couldn't be worse than that, right?

 

After Hoseok sent him a message the day after their encounter, Kihyun's reply had been long to come. He was even worried he had given him a random number. But fortunately, two days and five hours late, Hoseok's inbox had one text to deliver. Something curt, brief and concise. "Come at six. Here's my address." No hello, no goodbye, no how are you doing. Of course, he couldn't let it bother him too much. He wasn't doing all that to marry that petty pianist. He wanted to know more about their condition. Nothing more.

 

In front of Kihyun's house, Hoseok felt the urge to read the address a few times again. No way, this was the right address. There was no mistake. He lived in something Hoseok would call a mansion due to lack of appropriate vocabulary. The gate was fancier than everything he had ever seen. He had grown up in a rather well off family, but this was something new. Bigger than the houses in the neighborhood, this one flaunted a large garden at the entrance, surrounded by bushes neatly trimmed. The wooden doors seemed to elongate into the house without limits, towering over the young man in an intimidating manner. For the first time in his life, he felt small.

 

A deep breath escaped his lips as he held his hand up in the air, hesitating. Running away seemed like a more sensible option. A raven on a branch croaked, only making the ambiance scarier. This looked like the start of a horror movie. Definitely not what Hoseok was here for. The croaks intensified, and a foggy wave had engulfed the street, leaving a slight smell of sulphur in the air. No choice, knocking was the only option. It's not like he could run away now.

 

After three frail knocks, the doors creaked open, revealing Kihyun in what looked like a casual outfit — as casual as he could be, anyway. Without a word, he gestured for Hoseok to enter, which he did after muttering a shy "hello". From inside, the house looked just as cold. The ceiling was out of reach, and instead of family photos, only paintings of sceneries were hung on the walls. It was huge, yet so suffocating. He galloped up the black stairs, before joining Kihyun in the farthest room of the corridor. For a second, he held his breath in, spinning around to observe his surroundings. Worthy of his favorite scene of Beauty and the Beast, a library. A gigantic library.

 

"This is amazing," he breathed out, his finger instinctively running down the spines of the books.

 

"Thank you." Kihyun tugged at the collar of his shirt as he took a sit in front of a desk, on which a dozen of books were scattered. "I thought we might have some books about soulmates, so I went on a hunt. Here, they're all here. I waited for you to read them."

 

Finally adverting his gaze from the books on the shelves, Hoseok pulled a stool to sit as well, fingers picking at the hem of his shirt. Kihyun paid no attention to him, and instead started arranging the books in two piles, in alphabetical order.

 

"Do you think we'll find something that'll help us?"

 

"We better." Kihyun pushed his glasses up with his left pinky, something Hoseok had never seen. Index was common, major as well, but pinky? Unprecedented. "Let me remind you that if we don't find anything, I'll give up and we'll part ways.

 

Hoseok suppressed a sigh, and forced a smile instead. "You've already told me that. Anyway, before we start. How do you feel about all this? I mean, having no soulmate, all that."

 

Kihyun stopped to think, his eyes focused on emptiness. His tongue slid over his upper lip, his teeth digging into the other one two seconds later. Hoseok thought it was an abnormal time to respond, but the other male didn't seem like the type to express his feelings much. He would be patient.

 

"I guess," Kihyun started with a shaky voice, "it has made me feel left out, when I was younger. Everyone around me was talking about love, marriage, things I would never know. I wondered why God made it so unfair. I'm not going to lie, this thing was particularly difficult to deal with. I made...Mistakes," he mumbled as his thumb gently brushed over the scars on his wrist, "but I opened my eyes. It doesn't matter if I don't have a soulmate. I don't need anyone."

 

As he finished his monologue, he stared into the distance, lips pursed. Hoseok felt like he had understood too much. The scars on his wrist weren't the same as the bruises. He was suffering, and although he said it wasn't the case anymore, he could still sense some vulnerability. In the way he spoke about his past, the way his fingers stroked his damaged, the way he assured everything was fine. No, Kihyun wasn't well.

 

Hoseok coughed, getting Kihyun to sit straight. "Thank you for opening up to me. I know what you went through. It wasn't easy for me either. I hated being different, I still do." As if his hand moved by itself, he grabbed Kihyun's wrist, making sure not to be too rough. The pink haired male's eyes fluttered wide open, a flush of color warming his cheeks. "And this is why I want to know why all of this happened. Maybe it won't change, maybe I will never have a soulmate, but at least, I'll know. I'll know why I was born different."

 

Like magnets, their eyes seemed unable to leave each other, until Kihyun jerked his wrist away from Hoseok's iron grip, standing in a flash. He blinked excessively, nails digging into his palm, before grabbing a book from the right pile.

 

"Let's start reading," his voice faltered, weaker than he had intended. "If you find something interesting, please tell me. I'll do the same."

 

Not wanting to embarrass Kihyun more, Hoseok mirrored him and started skimming over the first book of his pile. The first five books were talking about the same things, and he could only wonder why anyone would need them all — one would definitely be enough. They were boasting about how soulmates are meant to be together forever and live in perfect harmony. They fed him romantic fairy tales about the "missing puzzle piece". They praised the virtues of never dating someone who isn't destined for you. Bullshit. Hoseok's parents were soulmates, yet there were no perfect harmony and fairy tale between them. Maybe because his father was simply an asshole. Anyway, they weren't "together forever". And it was better this way.

 

Kihyun hadn't solicited him either, so he assumed he came across the same pretty lies, smoke and mirrors. Without great conviction, Hoseok opened the last book, his eyes threatening to shut at every other word. True love, blah blah, one hundred percent compatible, blah blah. Those words meant nothing. May as well have never been written. Only the last chapter was left to consume, but before engaging into what he knew to be useless, he looked up at Kihyun. He was heaving sighs left and right, his hand twitching against the paper. No luck either.

 

"How is it going, Kihyun?" he still asked, concerned about how frustrated he looked.

 

"Can't you tell? Nothing, there's simply nothing."

 

Slamming the book shut, he threw it with the others, burying his face in his hands before letting them slide in his hair. It was not the time to talk to him, he looked like an angry, little animal, but still quite scary. Hoseok focused on the last chapter, titled "Timers Repairers". He let out a squeal of surprise, fingers gripping onto the pages, gathering all his strength to finish the book.

 

"Kihyun, come here, I have something."

 

Without wasting a second, Kihyun sat on the floor right next to him, an eyebrow raised as he stared at the block of words. After reading so much, it was hard deciphering those paragraphs. "What did you find?"

 

"They say timers repairers take care of those whose soulmates are dead, and give them another one, therefore setting their timer back to another number."

 

Kihyun scratched his brow, scooting so close his breath tickled Hoseok's ear. "And what does that have to do with us?"

 

Us. Hoseok felt a knot forming in his stomach, but decided to push it in the back of his mind. "They can do many other things. Look, they mention the 'broken ones'. Apparently they're people who have broken their soulmate timers in an accident."

 

Eyebrows furrowed, Kihyun snatched the books from the other's hands, reading the same sentence over and over. Suddenly, his whole face lit up, as if a lightbulb had appeared above his head. He set the book down without care, before turning to Hoseok with a new expression. With his eyes wide open, and a smile tugging at his lips, there was some excitement to his face. It looked much better on him than the usual frown.

 

"I heard about a guy who broke his timer in a car accident, but the article said he managed to get it fixed by...Wait, I'll remember. I have it on the tip of my tongue!" His hands vaguely waved off in the air as he struggled to find the name. He raised his index right in front of Hoseok's eyes. "Chae Hyungwon! That's it. We should make some research on him."

 

"Do you have a laptop?"

 

Kihyun nodded and jolted up, running to another room. Finally alone, Hoseok exhaled with relief, the corners of his lips pulling up unknowingly. He felt so close to his goal, and it was thanks to that pianist he had randomly met. He owed him a lot, and he would make sure to thank him when all of this would be over. The said boy returned as quickly as an arrow, sliding on the marble with a portable computer carefully tucked under his arm. He opened it, quicker than ever, and typed the name in the research bar. An overwhelming amount of results appeared, but most of them were popular websites praising his amazing work.

 

"There's his address and number. I'll make an appointment." Kihyun spun around to look at Hoseok, only to find him already staring. "What? Is there something on my face?"

 

He let out a light chuckle, gently shook his head as his eyes creased into crescent moons. "No, I was just happy."

 

"What for? We aren't fixed yet."

 

"You look so eager, though. It's quite endearing, if I may say so, mister Yoo Kihyun." His hand found its way to the boy's wrist again. "You seem to be more concerned about this issue than you said you were."

 

Breath hitched in his throat, he could only look down at their hands, a rush of adrenaline dashing through his veins. What was that again? Embarrassment? Most likely. His heart was beating at the speed of a herd gazelles chased by a lion. In other words, too fast.

 

"Shut up," he muttered. "If I can be fixed, I won't miss this chance. It doesn't mean I need someone, you get it? I just want to be normal."

 

"You're pretty unique. It's a good thing."

 

"Yeah, whatever you say. Now, I'll need you to leave the house because my parents are coming back, and they won't be happy to see we have an unannounced guest. I'll call you later to tell you when to meet. Don't be late."

 

"I won't."

 

Leaving the books on the pure marble floor, they walked down the stairs and stepped out of the mansion, exchanging hesitant goodbyes before parting ways. Hoseok felt like he had the strength to run ten miles after this. After all, maybe there was another reward to this quest besides getting "fixed". Maybe he would gain a friend, or something more.

 

Finally, the day had come. Kihyun's message had, once again, relieved Hoseok of his tension. Walking to the shop in an unknown district, he examined the houses with great detail. The street was empty, as if it had been abandoned for years. Only a brave pitch black cat had been brave enough to lead his adventure here, following a prey of some sort. He had no idea there was such a place in Seoul; old and worn out, but still with a luxurious fashion, as if it came straight from a book set in France, in the nineties. It was as if time had stopped, keeping the quarter in a bubble untouchable by the discoverings of science and technology advancements.

 

"That place is creeping me the fuck out," Minhyuk muttered under his breath, shoving his hands in his pockets.

 

"Well, I never asked you to tag along." Hoseok turned to him for a second, before going back to his observation. It was more interesting, anyway.

 

A dry chuckle escaped the blond one's lips, as he bumped his shoulder into Hoseok's broad one. "You really thought I would let you go meet some shady time repairer without me? Plus, the last time you met Kihyun, you came back looking like a mess. If I'm not there, I'm afraid you'll drop to your knees and propose to him."

 

Using his best judgement, Hoseok stayed quiet, scanning each shop to make sure not to miss the right one. Fortunately, he spotted Kihyun's silhouette right away, looking minuscule in the distance. As he approached him, he could see his face lighting up more and more, the corners of his lips pulling up...Until his eyes landed on Minhyuk, who was dragging his feet on the paved road.

 

"What's he doing here?" he spat out, eyebrows furrowed.

 

"Hello to you too, Kihyun. He was curious, I guess. Minhyuk, say hi. You don't want Kihyun to think you're impolite, do you?"

 

"Honestly, I don't really car—" A kick in the ankle makes him change his mind in half a second. "Hi, Kihyun," he winced, before his eyes drift to his wrist. "Oh shit, look at my clock. The number is so low!"

 

Hoseok inspected his friend's timer, then shifted glances around the street. Nobody. Where could his soulmate be? Hidden in one of those houses?

 

He didn't have much more time to worry about it when Kihyun grabbed his sleeve with as much force as he had, dragging him into the shop. His eyes met with a wall full of clocks, as if that timer repairer also repaired those in his free time. There was wooden desk in the middle of the room, massive, standing there like a throne in a castle. Hoseok couldn't help but to slide his fingers on it, staining his fingertips with thick dust. Whoever that guy was, he was awful at cleaning. And, most importantly, he was nowhere to be seen.

 

The three of them jumped up when they heard a series of footsteps growing louder each passing second. Hoseok recognized the sound: some luxurious, good quality Oxford shoes. The same as his father. The back door flew open, but none of them had the time to look at the man, too distracted by the ring of two different alarms. Minhyuk gasped as he looked at his timer. Zero. Here it was, finally. The moment everyone waited for all their life. His eyes searched for his soulmate, but they were blurry and full of tears. Too much emotion.

 

"Hello?" a hesitant voice spoke up, the footsteps stopping abruptly. "Can I help you?"

 

Kihyun took a step forward, confusion written all over his face. "Uh, yes, but don't you have a more important matter to deal with? I think this guy, here, is your soulmate."

 

Minhyuk finally blinked the tears away, getting a clearer vision of the man. Tall and lanky, wearing a suit as if he was a businessman. Also, pink hair. Seems like it was common in Seoul this season. It took him a second to snap from his trance, before running to him like a puppy would; in little and clumsy jumps.

 

"Hello, my name is Minhyuk, and I am in love with you!"

 

Hoseok mentally face palmed, jaded by his friend's rash behavior. That timer repairer didn't look like the type to respond with a cheesy "I love you too". He would probably face rejection, and Hoseok would have to pick up the pieces. As always.

 

"No thanks, I'll pass." He walked past him, adjusting his tie as he approached the broken ones. "I have one motto: business before love. Never had the occasion to put it into practice, but now's the day. We'll talk about it later."

 

Minhyuk's jaw dropped as he slammed a hand against his chest. "Excuse me? Is that how you talk to your future husband? Don't ignore me!"

 

His cries were now some background noises as Hyungwon stared at Hoseok and Kihyun, who both had the sudden urge to cover their bodies with their arms. That Chae Hyungwon had such a piercing, deep stare, it was almost as if he could read their thoughts. Thankfully, he wasn't reading Minhyuk's. They were most likely full of spicy profanities.

 

"So, what brings you here?" He joined his two hands together, sitting on his desk.

 

Hoseok thought a second about telling him his butt would be full of dust, but Kihyun spoke first. "We both have broken timers."

 

"Death of a soulmate? Car accident? Self-harm?" he questioned, looking at his nails in a nonchalant manner.

 

"Since birth."

 

It was enough to get his attention. He stood straight, lips pursed in an annoyed frown, then gestured for them to show their wrists. His fingers gently brushing their skin, he hummed, making a sound coming from the back of his throat. A grunt, maybe. Just pure annoyance.

 

"I've never seen this before. I don't think it's possible."

 

"Well, see for yourself." Kihyun shoved his wrist in his face, pointing to the bruises. "We've had these ever since we were kids. My mother told me I was born like this. Do you have an explanation?"

 

Hyungwon stroked his chin with hesitation, his eyes never once leaving the timers — or rather, the lack of timers. "I don't. But I can try to fix it as if you had suffered from an accident. It might work. Follow me to the backroom, it's where I operate."

 

Not daring to add anything, Hoseok followed his instructions, glancing every now and then at Kihyun. He looked confident, chin lifted up and a smile on his lips. Definitely, this was more important to him than he dared to admit. If it did work, Hoseok would probably be more happy for him, then for his own self. There was something about Kihyun's smile that brought joy to his heart. Maybe this was all he truly needed.

 

Hyungwon set up his tools as the three customers sat down on damaged chairs, who weren't as fancy as the front shop's furniture. It looks like they had been sat on a thousand times from the creases in the wood and the washed out grey stains; did he have that many clients? Minhyuk's knees were moving up and down, shaking in nervousness. Was it because his friend was about to be fixed, or because he was in front of his soulmate (a rather special one, at that)? No idea. But he was anxious, and that was a rare sight for Hoseok. He was always so rash and confident, he would be the one to get his best friend to do the craziest things. But today was different. It was Hoseok's life on the line.

 

"So, how are you going to do that?" Kihyun crossed his legs as he looked closely at the tools. A needle, and a machine that looked like a stamp more than anything.

 

"I'll inject something to make your body react to the scanner. No worries, it's not dangerous. Is anyone here allergic to alcohol?" They all shook their head, like kids in a classroom. "Great. The scanner will try to find the remains of your timers."

 

"But what if we never had one to begin with?"

 

Hyungwon shrugged, disinfecting his syringe. An acid smell reached their nostrils in an instant; it smelled like hospitals and cleaning products. The perfect combination to feel even more uneasy. "We'll see about that. I can't guarantee anything."

 

He kept his mouth shut, letting a heavy silence settle in the room, only lit up by the bright neons above the examination table. The lights flickered in a regular , as if the bulbs hadn't been changed in too long. How could Hyungwon even concentrate in these circumstances? His backroom looked like the thing you see in the movies, where vicious doctors operate kidnapped people to sell their organs on black market. Hopefully, it was not the case.

 

"Which one of you will go first?"

 

Hoseok and Kihyun exchanged a look, both holding their breath in fear of showing their apprehension.

 

"I will," Hoseok quivered, standing slowly. He turned to look at Kihyun one last time, and widened his eyes at his expression. Lines had creased on his forehead, and he was biting his nails. Bad habit, but a natural reaction at such a situation.

 

After lying down on the examination bed, Hoseok stretched his arm in the direction of the — what was he? A doctor? He would call him a doctor from now on. He had to at least have a medical degree to do such things. Right?

 

"I'll count to three before pricking you. At three, I want you to inhale deeply, okay? It might sting a bit," his eyes moved to his biceps, "but you're a strong boy, aren't you? You're not going to let a minuscule needle terrify you."

 

Truth was, needles were the scariest things, even for a strong boy like Hoseok. But the outcome of it was the only thing in his mind. A soulmate, a happy family, his mother's joy. What was a needle next to that?

 

The doctor dabbed his wrist with a cotton, then pinched a bit of his skin between two fingers. Hoseok could read Minhyuk's worry on his face, he was two seconds away from jumping up and dragging him away from this mess. One. Hoseok bit his lip as if it would distract from the upcoming pain. Two. His fingers clutched the mattress. Three. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes closed tightly. A soft prickle woke his skin up, followed by a violent stinging sensation, which sent chills through his whole body. A cry of pain stuck in his throat, he longed for the needle to leave his veins.

 

"Here you go," Hyungwon exclaimed, putting the syringe aside, before turning to his client with curiosity. "Did it hurt?"

 

"It still does," Hoseok whimpered, his feet wriggling in the air as if to shake the pain away. "Honestly, this better be worth it."

 

Hyungwon scoffed in response, grabbing the small scanner and placing it above his wrist. "It's not over, unfortunately. You can take a little more pain, right?"

 

Of course. He could take all the pain in the world if it meant for him to finally be like the others.

 

"Go ahead, make this quick," he grunted.

 

As the scanner projected blue lights on his wrist, Hoseok stayed silent, straight like a statue. Would it work? Hopefully it would. But if it was a failure, what would he, no, what would they do? Back to square one, alone, different and in need of answers. He wanted to be optimistic. He wanted to tell himself everything would go perfectly well. But it was the real world, and mercy wasn't given to just anyone.

 

Two needles ripped through his skin, interrupting his train of thought in a brutal shriek. Needles? Again? A notice beforehand would've been useful. They stayed inside longer than the first one, and it felt like they were rearranging his veins in different orders, braiding them like fine hair on a good day. Hoseok promised himself he would punch Hyungwon in the face if there was no result. Finally, the doctor put the scanner away, and swiftly bandaged his wrist, letting him go back to his seat.

 

It was Kihyun's turn. After running a shaking hand through his peachy hair, he sat on the bed, eyes focused on the needle. Hyungwon tried to prick one time, two times, but Kihyun wouldn't let him, too scared to let his arm stay in place. When the doctor seemed about to snap, the pianist turned to his two friends (were they friends?).

 

"Uh, Hoseok," he breathed out, color dancing on his cheeks, "could you...Could you hold my hand?"

 

Fuck. Hoseok sure wasn't expecting that. To be able to hold Kihyun's slender and delicate fingers in his, so soon, it was a dream. Was it actually a dream? It seemed so out of character for such a cold person to make such a request. But Kihyun had a soft side to him, after all. So he took a few steps towards him and grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 

"Yoo I-don't-need-anyone Kihyun, having to hold Hoseok's hand for a simple jab!" Minhyuk slapped his knee and smiled mischievously, tilting his head to make sure the object of his mockery would see him. "Hilarious."

 

Kihyun was about to answer, probably in an agressive manner, but Hoseok was faster. "Minhyuk, keep the jokes for later. I think he's stressed enough."

 

"Oh, I see. Defending your damsel in distress?"

 

Hoseok rolled his eyes. Couldn't it end quickly? The atmosphere was getting too tense for his liking. Hyungwon seemed to be unaffected, too focused on his task. Once again, he counted to three, but instead of taking a deep breath on the last number, Kihyun just held Hoseok's hand tighter, gripping it like it was the only thing keeping him alive. The "operation" went faster, and soon enough Kihyun was up again, with a matching bandage on his wrist.

 

"It'll probably take ten minutes. Do you want some coffee in the meantime?" he offered, tidying up.

 

They shook their heads once again, a bit stunned. Minhyuk took this as an opportunity to talk to his soulmate, the man he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with. He had often imagined a taller, handsome man, with a dazzling smile and a warm aura, always ready to take care of him and baby him at all times. At least, Hyungwon was tall. And handsome. That was about it.

 

"Can you at least give me your number?" he begged, hands joined.

 

"Get it on my website," the other spat out, using the examination bed as a chair.

 

That was the last straw. Minhyuk crossed his arms over his chest, and his frown turned into a pout. Baby mode activated. "We are meant to be together but you're so cold to me!"

 

"Minhyuk's a bit needy," Hoseok intervened, "and yes, he can be annoying from time to time. Very often, actually." Minhyuk placed his hand over his chest, his mouth forming an "o". "But he's incredibly sweet, and my most loyal friend. I think you would like him if you gave him a chance."

 

While Minhyuk was hesitating between strangling and hugging Hoseok (strangling while hugging seemed like a solution), Hyungwon heaved a sigh, a slight smile appearing on his face as he shook his head.

 

"I never said I wouldn't give him a chance. Of course my soulmate means something to me, I wouldn't be a timer repairer if it wasn't the case. But I'm at work," he declared, in a strangely solemn tone, "and I can't let myself be distracted. Fix a date, and we'll see." He ended his sentence with a wink sent to Minhyuk, who immediately jumped to his feet.

 

While the two soulmates were trying to find a day for their first dates, Hoseok only had one person in mind: Kihyun. He had been awfully silent since his operation. Mouth shut as if he could never open it again, his eyes were getting lost, blank and empty. He was tired. That was probably it. Who wouldn't be, after a series of needles through the wrist?

 

"Kihyun, how are you feeling?"

 

He grabbed all his attention, making him whip his head in his direction. Kihyun parted his lips, then closed them, unsure. Nothing to lose. Hoseok grabbed his hand again and interlaced their fingers. It seemed to give him some courage, as his visage regained color. "I'm scared," he squeaked out. "What if it doesn't work?"

 

"It will," Hoseok whispered, in an attempt to convince himself as well.

 

The ten following minutes felt more like ten hours, or even ten years. Many times, Hoseok had felt he was about to rip the bandage off, tired of this uncertainty. Being in the dark was the worst feeling, he could only make up thousands of scenarios, each as dramatic as the previous one, and none with a good ending. One even involved death. Sure, a little bit too much considering the minor operation, but who knows? Death is always out there to get you.

 

Ending his bickering with Minhyuk, Hyungwon strolled their way, grabbing both of their bandaged wrists at the same time. No swelling, no bruises, no allergic reaction. At least they weren't dying. 

 

"Let's remove them. Don't expect anything, or you could be disappointed."

 

"I've read so many things about you," Hoseok gushed, "everyone is praising you. I believe in your work."

 

Hyungwon let out a dry chuckle, crossing his arms loosely. "Thank you, but believing won't change the outcome. This is the first time I try something with such a condition."

 

Slowly, as if a brutal movement could kill the both of them as a bomb would, they removed the bandages, internally praying for timers to appear on their wrists. Hoseok fluttered his eyes open, scanning over his skin up to the junction of his hand and arm. 

 

Yes, indeed, there was a timer.

 

Set to zero.

 

And it seemed to be the same thing for Kihyun. Hoseok sighed deeply, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at Kihyun's whole world falling apart. His eyes were stuck on the fatal number, filling with tears every second. He tried to blink them away, keeping his cold facade on, but Hoseok knew he was two seconds away from breaking down.

 

"What..." his voice cracked, he had to clear his throat before speaking again. "What does this mean?"

 

Hyungwon wrapped his fingers around his forearm, scrutinizing the timer with full attention. "I think your timers are repaired."

 

"Then why a zero?" Hoseok inquired, before placing his hand on Kihyun's knee to steady him.

 

"You two already met your soulmates. There is no way for you to know who it is now."

 

A jab in the heart. Concise, borderline insensitive. All of that for nothing. Life didn't even have enough mercy to not let them have timers at all. They had one, but it was useless. They weren't back to square one. It was square zero, and Kihyun wasn't liking it. Who would?

 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he groaned, shoving his hand in his pants pocket to stop looking at it. Then: "You're meant to tell me we did that for nothing?"

 

"It seems so. Sorry, I told you it might not work."

 

Kihyun rose, erupting like a volcano. His face grew red with anger, as his hands clenched into shaking fists. Rage pricked his skin more than the shots, and at this point, it felt like his whole body had caught on fire. A fire no one could put out, not even Hoseok.

 

"I knew it was useless," he barked, kicking into an empty trashcan. It's as if life left Hyungwon's face. "I shouldn't have followed you, Hoseok. I shouldn't have believed you!"

 

More in hopelessness than anger, Hoseok jolted up as well, approaching Kihyun as though he was a dangerous beast. "Don't blame me! I'm going through the same thing, you know that."

 

"But before you dragged me into this mess, I was fine! I was completely fine with being alone."

 

"You're lying." As soon as the words left his mouth, Hoseok regretted. Even though he did not know Kihyun since long, he somehow knew what would make him snap. And accusing him of lying was on the list, even if it was true.

 

"Fuck you, I can't believe I listened to you," he croaked, salty drops finally sliding down his face. He wiped them off with his sleeve, before they could even reach his chin. "I don't want to ever see you again."

 

With that, he stormed off, leaving Hoseok all alone — or at least he felt like it. It was as if the world lost its colors for a second, running away with the peach haired man. In all the scenarios he had made up, this one hadn't come up. He should've known, Kihyun was a hothead, always ready to blow up at every offense. Images flashed through his mind. Images of Kihyun crying, alone again, back to his tasteless world.

 

Minhyuk's arm reassuringly slid around his friend's shoulder, patting his chest. "Are you okay?" he asked, even though he knew the answer. "He didn't mean it. He said that because of anger. He'll probably apologize soon, don't worry."

 

"Yoo Kihyun, apologizing?" Hoseok chuckled softly, feeling tears sting his eyeballs. This wall of too much. Neither of them deserved this. "He was serious. Ah, I can't believe it. This is the end of my journey to have a soulmate."

 

Hyungwon shook his hand as he paced around the room. "Maybe your friend won't join you, but I'm here now. Not only am I interested in your condition, I also don't want to leave you like this. It's not over, I'll help you."

 

Hoseok forced a smile, staring at the door as if he hoped Kihyun would come back running. He should've been happy — why wasn't he happy? He had his best friend and a timer repairer on his side, he wasn't alone. But without Kihyun, he felt alone.

 

It's without the pianist that they continued their investigation two days later, the three of them gathered in Hoseok's living room. While Hyungwon had been making research on the computer, Minhyuk stood next to the desk, playing with the silk curtains, sunlight hitting directly on his face. Their host hadn't moved from the couch, hands on his lap as if he was interrogated by an authority figure.

 

"I think I found someone like you," Hyungwon broke the silence, turning to Hoseok. "He claims to have a broken timer since birth, and the headline, although close to blatant clickbait, says the reason is unbelievable. It's not in the article though."

 

Minhyuk replied before Hoseok could even open his mouth. "You think we could meet him?"

 

"Sure, we can. I'm going to look up his name to see if an address comes up."

 

Now was not the time to mop around, he finally had an opportunity to know the truth. The key was here in his hands, yet something was missing to put it in the lock. Support? Motivation? Strength? No. Kihyun. He needed to know the truth too. He couldn't do it without him. It was unfair; they had started this quest together, they had to end it the same way, together.

 

"Here, there's his address." Hyungwon stood and pulled his phone out, writing it in his notes. "We should go now. It's getting late, and it's pretty far away, we don't want to disturb him during the night."

 

"That would make a bad first impression," Minhyuk chuckled as he approached his soulmates in short, wary steps. His usual cheerful face darkened, as he stood close enough to Hyungwon for him to be the only one to hear him. "I'm worried about Hoseok. He's been brooding for hours now."

 

Hyungwon casted a glance at Hoseok, then said, "He shouldn't be that affected. Who was Kihyun for him, anyway?"

 

"Hoseok is the type to fall fast and hard." He scratched the back of his head. "Usually not that fast, but Kihyun was, indeed, charming."

 

"More charming than me?"

 

"Fuck you."

 

Hoseok, completely unaware of his friends' (was Hyungwon his friend? Who knew?) whispers, stared at his phone, more precisely the message he had typed for Kihyun. Would pressing "send" be a good idea? Kihyun had been clear: he wanted nothing to do with him anymore. What kind of guy would still text him after that? Hoseok.

 

Damn right.

 

He sent the message, holding his breath as the loading symbol turned round and round, like a record. Was it too cheesy? Too serious? Too obvious? Probably not the latter. Kihyun was oblivious. Even Hyungwon seemed to have noticed Hoseok had some kind of feelings for him, but Kihyun? Not at all. Or at least he didn't let it appear.

 

A sharp pain struck through his wrist, forcing him to spread his hand open and let go of the phone, which crashed on the stainless tiled floor. Fortunately, no serious damage to Hoseok's precious device, but it sure had caught the attention of the two soulmates — were they a couple?

 

"Are you okay?" Minhyuk spoke first, eyes filled with worry.

 

Hoseok didn't know whether to nod or shake his head, so he did a mix of that. Confusing for the two others, to say the least. "My wrist hurts."

 

"The wrist where there's your timer?"

 

This time, he nodded properly. "Do you think it's a side effect of the operation?"

 

Hyungwon walked his way with large steps, his Oxford shoes filling the room with a regular, yet annoying sound (Hoseok had told him not to wear shoes inside, but he hadn't listened). He grabbed his wrist like he had done many times before, and gently stroke it. Even the lightest touch made Hoseok whimper, as if his fingertips were burning a thousand degrees. His timer was faint, almost washed out. Not a good sign.

 

"That's weird," Hyungwon concluded as he put his wrist down in the slowest way possible. "None of my patients have ever reported side effects. We'll see if it gets worse. For now, we need to go to that guy's house and unveil the truth."

 

He helped him up and went back to Minhyuk's side, as if it was where he belonged. When Hoseok was finally ready to go out, hand on the doorknob, the stairs cracked. His mother made her way into the living room, eyebrows raised up high on her forehead, so high it creased more than it already was.

 

"Where are you going?" Her voice was low, almost as soft as a whisper, as if she was fearful. Of what? No idea.

 

Did he really have to answer? His mother knew nothing about his little investigation, let alone the existence of Kihyun. If he told her, she would probably try to persuade him not to go, saying it's too dangerous and that he could regret it. Staying quiet about it and lying seemed to be the wisest option, but then again, she was his mother, his amazing, beloved mom. Lying to her was a sin in his book. So, against his better judgement, he played the honesty card.

 

"We're going to meet a guy with the same condition as me. You know, broken timer since birth."

 

As relaxed as he wanted his voice to sound, he could still hear some background anxiety, and he hated it. He didn't want her to worry. As soon as she registered his words, her eyes widened as round as balls, and her hands clenched into balls. Of course, she would get nervous. But she looked nothing like he had imagined. There was some hopelessness to her expression, as if it meant death for him if he went out.

 

"Don't you dare go," she quivered, grabbing his wrist tightly. Not the undamaged wrist, of course. It had to be the painful one. Just like when your slice of bread falls down on the jam side. "You can't do that!"

 

He snatched his wrist away from her grip and rubbed it to ease the pain. "Don't worry about it, nothing will happen."

 

"I don't care what you say, you can't go!"

 

He had never seen his mother like that before. She was always so gentle, soft-spoken, and somewhat melancholic, but anger wasn't in her dictionary. Her eyes bulged from their sockets, her knuckles turned white, her voice hardened. This couldn't be his mother. She would have never acted this way with him. Unless she had a real reason to forbid him from going out, a secret to hide.

 

"I'm doing it for you," he murmured, his heart pounding in the back of his head. He was in front of a stranger. Letting his guard down was not an option. What if she became like his father and got physical? Hoseok couldn't believe he was thinking this way: ten minutes ago, he would have never thought his mother capable of such things, ever. But now, he wasn't sure of it anymore. "I want to make you happy..." His voice cracked, as he felt tears burning his eyes. Blinking them away wouldn't be enough.

 

"You should think about yourself instead of others." Her voice softened and her whole body relaxed suddenly, as a soft smile tugged at her lips. She looked like herself, finally. "Don't do it for me. You are the most important." Her eyes were sparkling so much, Hoseok didn't find the strength in him to fight her.

 

She walked past him and opened the door, turning to Hyungwon and Minhyuk.

 

"You two, you might want to leave. I need to have a talk with my son."

 

Still shaken from earlier, the two men did not even try to refuse and simply waved to Hoseok with sympathetic smiles, before leaving the house. His mother locked the door behind them and shoved the key in her pocket, heaving an endless sigh.

 

"Go to your room," she mumbled, "you have to cool off."

 

"Wha— I didn't even do anything! I'm not thirteen anymore, are you really going to ground me?"

 

His words didn't find their way to her ears. "Your room," she repeated, standing straight.

 

Feeling like he couldn't keep his rage in anymore, Hoseok stormed up the stairs and slammed the door of his room, before throwing himself onto his two persons bed. Everything was going so wrong, as if his condition was much more than having no timer. It's as if every time he tried to learn more, it made him lose something. Kihyun, his trust in his mother. Those were hard prices to pay.

 

The next few days, Kihyun hadn't given any replies to Hoseok's persistent messages. It was as if he was stuck in a bubble all alone. Even his relationship with his mother hadn't gotten much better, they had barely talked except for hello's and goodbye's. Today, he had enough. It was suffocating — if he stayed any longer, he would go mad. So it's without surprise that he called his only two friends, Hyungwon and Minhyuk, to hang out somewhere far away from this house, which felt so unfamiliar and distant now. The two men hadn't dared to ask him about how it went, they acted like nothing had ever happened. And it was a good thing, Hoseok really did not want to talk about it again.

 

"Hyungwon, buy me that hat!" Minhyuk begged, hands joined, his puppy pout mode activated. Hoseok let out a chuckle. His best friend would always cheer him up without even trying.

 

"Don't you have money? Your father is a doctor, don't act like you're broke."

 

They bickered yet again, closely watched by Hoseok, who felt his heart fill with mixed emotions. He was happy for them, they truly belonged together and he could clearly see that, even within a few days, they had become each other's most important person. But there was this feeling he knew too well, who tied his stomach into knots and turned his knees into jelly: jealousy. The old, bad envy, that makes you want to rip your hair out because of how stupid it is. He wanted that too, he wanted someone to share his life with! Someone to buy hats for, someone to bicker with, someone who could act as his plush during the night so he could cuddle them as much as he wanted. And Kihyun could've been that someone. 

 

"Hoseok, are you just gonna stand in the middle of the street for hours?" Minhyuk's high-pitched voice snapped him out or his daydreaming. He had quickly forgotten about watching the couple. 

 

"Uh, yeah, I'm coming." After Hoseok's hesitant reply, Minhyuk's face turned sour, eyebrows the shape of commas, as if something terrible had happened.

 

"Are you sure you're alright? We can go to my house if you feel more comfortable there."

 

Hoseok wanted to reply, to tell him not to worry and to enjoy his date with the love of his life, but his vocal chords only formed a quiet shriek, as the stinging pain came back. It was as if poison ran through his veins, it burned every single inch without missing a beat. He experienced that everyday, but this time, it was on another level. Would he have to amputate his wrist? Probably not, but worrying was the only thing he was functioning enough to do.

 

Minhyuk grabbed his sleeve and dragged his arm up, taking a look at his wrist to search for any burns or new bruises. His eyes widened as they instead met the plain canvas of his skin. No timer. It was gone. Somehow, they all knew this was going to happen. It kept on fading more and more every hour, it was the only possible outcome. But having it directly in front of their eyes was a much different things than speculations. The little bit of hope Hoseok still had in his heart flew away like a raven after eating its prey, leaving him there, stunned and empty.

 

Hyungwon looked troubled, no other word would describe it as well. His eyebrows furrowed, he stared at his bruises as if he was trying to find a way to revive the timer. Of course, there was none. Mouth-to-mouth was not an option.

 

"It's over," he remarked simply, a frown darkening his face. "I don't know— you will never be fixed. I'm sorry."

 

His words were still harsh as ever, ripping through Hoseok's heart like a knife through butter. He couldn't blame him for lacking tact, sometimes honesty was the better option. But he would've preferred to never hear it. He shouldn't have done this operation in the first place. He shouldn't have talked to Kihyun. All of this was a mistake, a mistake he could not get rid of with an eraser, not even a big one.

 

No tears fell. He had cried enough for the past few days, and now he was dry as a desert. Maybe it was for the best. Everything was back to normal, as if nothing had happened. He could move on and continue living his life like he always. Why did it hurt so much?

 

"Hoseok, please speak," Minhyuk's honey voice brushed against his ears, but it was nothing more than a background noise, the radio music constantly blasting in the streets but that you never pay attention to.

 

"It's fine, it's better this way." Hoseok forced a smile as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I was doing it for my mother, anyway. I can live without a soulmate."

 

"You're lying, just like Kihyun."

 

Kihyun. His name stung in a melancholic way, as if he hadn't seen him years. If he had never met him, maybe he would've been able to forget that adventure. But forgetting about Kihyun? Impossible. His face was sealed in his eyelids, and everytime he closed his eyes to chase the doubts away, he was there. Smiling in his usual hesitant manner, trying to keep a cold exterior even though he was feeling all the happiness in the world. No, he could not forget Kihyun. Anything but him.

 

Had Kihyun forgotten him already? Was he just a hazy memory along with Minhyuk and Hyungwon? What Hoseok had felt when he was with him, it couldn't be one-sided. Kihyun had to feel it too. So why wasn't he replying? Hoseok shut his eyes, making a bet with his inner resolve to move on. If Kihyun replied, he would chase him everywhere. If he didn't, this would be over. No more Kihyun, no more soulmate, no more timer.

 

His phone vibrated against his fingers, as if God had decided to reply to his prayer in the most direct way. He felt his hands shake at the simple idea that this was a message from Kihyun, but his brain tried to calm his body down. He couldn't get exited too early. This could be anyone. His mother, his co-worker, even a spam text. But if it was Kihyun, if only it was him, he would allow himself to smile and celebrate, for he would have a won a bet against himself. He pulled the phone from his pocket in a suffocating suspens, swallowing a lump in his throat. He typed his password in half a second, too eager to prove his theory (read: dream).

 

One message from Yoo Kihyun.

 

He slammed a hand against his mouth to hide his growing smile. He would chase him everywhere around the world.

 

"Who is it?" Minhyuk asked, bending over to get a glimpse of the screen.

 

Hoseok pushed him away and read out loud, "I'm sorry for snapping last time. I have some very important thing to tell you. Can you come to the café next to my house? I would understand if you don't want to."

 

Hyungwon and Minhyuk exchanged a knowing look and immediately encouraged Hoseok to the café, then almost ran away before he could change his mind. No car to drive, no bus to take and no taxi to call, Hoseok had to walk there. And it was fine. He would have walked a thousand miles if he could see him, just like that one song said (now that he thought about it, it was one of his mother's favorites). Without wasting more time, he ran to the address he remembered perfectly. 

 

Kihyun was sitting on the stairs outside his house, arms crossed and a pout on his face he probably had no idea of. He hadn't changed, still the peach haired pianist who had mesmerized Hoseok the first time they met. Except for the dark circles under his eyes.

 

"Kihyun," Hoseok spoke up in a low voice.

 

The other man's head snapped up in his direction, he stood right away and strolled his way. "Hoseok, oh my god," he huffed out. "You came."

 

"Of course I did. I wanted to see you."

 

Kihyun bit his lips a second, but shook his thought away along with his head, as his fingers grabbed onto Hoseok's sleeves. There was distress to his eyes, and it could only indicate the important thing he was supposed to tell him wasn't so good. It was bad news.

 

"You know, when we weren't talking," he started, but only continued when Hoseok gave him a nod, "I made some research. On you."

 

"You missed me?" was the only thing that managed to come out of Hoseok's mouth, even though he had many more questions in mind.

 

Kihyun dramatically rolled his eyes and waved his hand to dismiss his question. "I discovered we lived in the same neighborhood when we were kids. And the worst thing is that your father's company is the direct rival of my parents'. It can't be a coincidence, right?"

 

Hoseok did remember his father always complaining about a business rival when they still lived together. It was from his endless rants that he learned most of the curse words he used today. Those bastards were apparently stealing his clients and spreading false rumors. Hoseok had never questioned any of this, he knew his father was in some shady business ever since the start. But to think those people he talked about were Kihyun's parents, it was unbelievable. Two kids around the same age, living in the same street, whose parents are rivals, both coincidentally born without timers. There's a one in a million chance of it happening.

 

"There's definitely something we're missing here. And I think only our parents can answer our questions."

 

"My dad is in another country the whole week," Kihyun declared, lips pinched. "How about we make our mothers meet?"

 

"Like, set them up?" Kihyun nodded in response, eyes sharp and narrowed. They were both as determined. "Let's do it at mine. Make up some lie for your mother, and make sure she's at mine in one hour."

 

After polishing their plan, the two of them parted ways, allowing Hoseok to finally reflect on what he had learned. He knew Kihyun, he definitely did. That was why he felt so familiar, why he was drawn to him like a magnet. Their condition had nothing to do with a government experiment, he was convinved of it. It was foul play, executed by the persons who they valued the most in life, their parents. Those you are supposed to trust no matter what, those who say they only want your happiness.

 

After taking his shoes off, Hoseok joined his mother in the kitchen. She was focused on the screen of her tablet, following a recipe for today's dinner. Even though it had always been forbidden, he sat on the isle, his feet dangling in the air.

 

"I invited some guests, mom. Is that okay with you?"

 

"You could have told me earlier, but I guess that's fine. As long as it's not—"

 

She didn't even have the time to finish her sentence that three strong knocks covered her voice. "Oh, they're early," Hoseok cheered, jumping on the floor to go open the door. Kihyun walked in without a greeting, his mother looked around the place before muttering a "hello". "Mom, can you come?" he called after her, and exchanged a look with the pianist.

 

Hoseok's mother hummed in response, and walked into the living room, a glass of water in her hands. It only took her a second to notice the other woman. Her glass smashed on the floor. Both women stared at each other, faces white and eyebrows raised. That was the confirmation they knew each other; something was going on. 

 

Not even caring about the pieces of broken glass scattered on the floor, she broke down, hiding her face in her hands. Loud sobs and inaudible lamentations. On the other hand, Kihyun's mother had turned red all over, and was about to combust with rage. She grabbed her son's arm with more force than you'd think an old woman would have, and shook him in all directions as if it would make him come to his senses.

 

"Why did you bring me here?" She yelled, creases forming between her brows. "What do you think you're doing?"

 

Hoseok couldn't stand looking at Kihyun's pained expression, as his mother's nails dug in his skin. Throwing aside his usual courtesy, he separated them, before asking his friend if he was okay with only a stare. The both of them turned towards their mothers, who were having the most different reactions. One was consumed with guilt, the other with rage.

 

"We need explanations." Hoseok approached his mother and gave her his hand, helping her step out of the circle of glass shards. "Please, mom, I need you to tell me."

 

"Don't you dare say anything!" Kihyun's mother barked, pointing a menacing finger towards the other woman.

 

"I have to," she whispered, looking up at her son with teary eyes. "Hoseok, Kihyun, I'm going to tell you the truth."

 

Walking away from his mother, Kihyun stood by Hoseok's side, his fingers tapping in a furious beat against his thighs. Hoseok felt all the pianist's worry reach him; he gently grabbed his hand, enterlacing his fingers with his. They were ready to hear the truth, finally, after so many years. Considering their mothers' expressions, it was an ugly truth, but it was better than any lie they'd ever been fed. As they say, honesty's the best policy, but liars prosper. Today, they were going to change that.

 

"It all started when you two were little kids." She snorted, her gaze remaining on the two boys. "You met in kindergarten. You two...You were soulmates."

 

Soulmates. Hoseok had a soulmate, and it was Kihyun. So far, everything was going according to his biggest dream. Questions bumped into his brain at the speed of a race car; he didn't even have the time (or strength?) to formulate one out loud. He wanted to know the whole truth.

 

She continued, "The problem was that your fathers were business rivals. They couldn't let you fall in love when our families hated each other. So, Hoseok, your father had an idea." She took a deep breath before heading into the most difficult path. "He...He thought we could break your timers."

 

"But how?" Kihyun spoke up, giving Hoseok's hand a desperate squeeze. 

 

"The bruises...They're here because we broke the timers. Both of your fathers, they smashed your wrists, tied them, cut them, until it finally worked. I— I couldn't say anything, I was too scared, you understand?"

 

As she ended her monologue, an ear-piercing silence took over the room. It was so quiet, it seemed like even the furniture was holding its breath. How could that have happened? How could two fathers put their own sons in danger for business matters? Simple, they were not fathers. Hoseok had never considered his father to be a real one, anyway.

 

Kihyun swallowed soundly, taking small steps towards his mother. His figure exuded a rage that was like lava — fiery, rugged, boiling. He usually looked small and closer to the lizard than the dragon, but in front of his liar of a mother, his anger seemed to enlarge his presence. It was like a spirit possessed him entirely, demanding to be let out through violence, whether it be words, or actions. 

 

"How dare you," he spat out, "do that to a what? Three, four years old? How could you be so cruel? My parents, those who were supposed to want my unconditional happiness, ruined my life in favor of their shitty scam company!"

 

"Don't speak like that!" was her only response, as if language was more important than the betrayal he had suffered.

 

"I don't fucking care about the way I speak! I have the right to be mad. I can't believe— this is crazy! I fucking hate the both of you."

 

The stinging pain struck before the loud thud. His cheek was burning, his mother's hand imprinted onto his skin. She had crossed the lines, and he couldn't stand for it. Never had his parents hit him, and with that slap, she had declared war. In response, he raised his hand, but Hoseok grabbed it and put it down, before turning to Kihyun's mother.

 

"I have to ask you to leave now, ma'am, before things get worse," he said, eyes anchored into hers.

 

She scowled and turned her heels around, slamming the door behind her. Hoseok gave Kihyun a reassuring pat on the back, making sure he had calmed down. He couldn't read his expression. Between anger and profound sadness, his eyes looked lost, as if his energy had been sucked out of his body.

 

"Hoseok," his mother spoke up, voice low, "will you forgive me? Please?"

 

She was his mother, and he loved her more than anything in the world. But how he could he ever look her in the eyes again after what she had done? "I don't know...Why didn't you tell me earlier? As soon as you and my father got divorced, you should've told me. Why not?"

 

"I was scared, I think you can understand that. I knew how much it hurt you not to have a soulmate, but I feared the truth would pain you even more. I didn't think you would ever meet the son of the Yoo."

 

"Mom, I love you, but I can't," he faltered, his lower lip trembling with worry. He didn't want to hurt her, but did he have a choice? It was her, or him. It was his turn to be selfish. "It's going to take time, that's for sure. It's just...I want to forgive you, but..."

 

As his voice died down, he looked at his feet, an acid taste burning the insides of his mouth. He mumbled a goodbye, grabbed Kihyun's arm, and dragged him outside, trying his hardest not to spare a glance to his mother. He couldn't forgive her yet; he had to focus on his relationship with Kihyun for now. Nothing was more important than the pianist at this moment. 

 

"Hoseok, you're hurting my wrist."

 

Realizing his grip had been too strong, he let go, slowing his pace down to be at Kihyun's level. They wandered around the streets, shoulder brushing against each other at every step, hearts full with a new feeling of companionship.

 

"So...We're soulmates." Kihyun scratched the back of his neck, avoiding Hoseok's eyes as if he would die on the spot if they met his.

 

"Yes, we're meant to be. I wish I had known earlier. Actually," he corrected himself, "the first time I saw you on that stage, I felt something indescribable. I guess I knew, deep inside."

 

"I don't think that's how soulmates work."

 

"I guess I just fell in love at first sight because of your beauty, grace, and talent!" When he realised what he had said, blood rushed to his face, and his eyes drifted to Kihyun's face to watch his reaction. He was just as embarrassed as him, shifting weight from side to side. "Well, um...Yeah."

 

Very eloquent. Not the way he dreamed he would confess his feelings for him. He had to make up something to reassure him, but all he could think of were declarations of love, in several different forms. It was probably best to keep quiet, but against his better judgment, he opened his mouth.

 

"I'm sorry, I just want to get to know you so we can, you know, eventually date. I mean— We can take it slow, if you're more comfortable with that. I can wait for you."

 

Kihyun's eyes had softened and found their way to his, and so had his hands. He took a step towards him, his face illuminated by a pure white street lamp, and got on the tip of his toes. Their noses brushed against each other; a cold touch, but Hoseok wouldn't complain. A teeth-smacking, tongue-biting kiss. It didn't stop them from enjoying the moment, melting into each other like puzzle pieces. So it wasn't a legend, your soulmate was indeed your other half. Curse him for ever thinking those books were bullshit; they were right, and he couldn't be happier about that.

 

Their lips separated, etching into large, dumb smiles. They were one, they weren't alone, by chance. It had to stay that way.

 

"Don't you think we've waited enough?"


End file.
